Troubles Of A Teenage Aussie
by Mazzi4
Summary: Wally's Journal! Never call it a diary! His own personal problems with school die, Homework, die!, friends, love life, parents and lots more. 3x4 main 2x5 1x?
1. Chapter 1

**Troubles of a Teenage Aussie  
Wallabee Beetles' Journal (age 14)**

**Author: New story! Jeez, I'm doing a lot of writing tonight. This is a fanfic, I started when I got bored on my holiday in Dorset. Had no idea what to wirte about so started a Wally's journal for a laugh. Pwease read and review. Bubixxxx**

**My bedroom, 7pm, 31st August 06,**

This is ridiculous! Really. Only MY mum would suggest such a stupid thing. Me, Wallabee Beetles, write a diary! Are you kidding me! Writing diaries is such a GIRLY thing to do. And I happen to be a boy and there's no WAY I'm gonna be writing in this THING for long! I said this to Mum and she corrected me with 'journal, Wallabee, dear,'. If I have to tell her one more time that it's WALLY, I'll shoot myself. She can't seem to understand that I hate the name Wallabee! I never used to hate it. Actually I used to be pretty fond of it. And proud. Until I met her. If you know me fairly well then you've probably guessed who I am talking about. AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE GOING THROUGH THIS JOURNAL! Notice that I said 'journal' and not diary then. This book is not a diary!

Anyway, Kuki Sanban, the only girl I've ever had feelings for. I hate having these alien feelings for her! Like when she hugs me and I feel my cheeks burn and when she asks me to play with her and I immediately panic and try to get out of it. I do not like girls! They like pink and think kittens are cute! YUCK! We met one day a l-o-n-g time ago (and that just makes me sound old!) when we were 5 and I'd just moved from Australia and she from Japan...

"Come on now, Wallabee, say hello honey," Mum said, fixing her hair quickly as we met our new neighbours.

"But I..." There was no way on Earth that I wanted to say 'hello' to Kuki. She was giggling like a stupid girl (well duh she is one), holding onto a green Rainbow Monkey. Seriously those things are weird, man! They have evil fixed smiles!

"Hi! What's your name? I'm Kuki!" She smiled at me and after that I just couldn't reply. Some daft old poet would probably say 'his heart over flowed with emotional love and burned through his chest and into his heart as he was made speechless as the girl's beauty drowned him' of something stupid like that. What a load of crud! Seriously!

"Oh my son, Wallabee Beetles. We've just moved from Sydney, Australia. Nice neighbourhood here isn't it? And what a lovely Sheila your daughter is! Ooo how do you keep your house so tidy? And your garden! So perfect-" Only MY mother would talk about the tidyness of gardens in that sort of situation. Kuki giggled and went red.

"Wallabee? Like a kangaree? Or a kongoroo?" You have no idea how red I went. I'd always been rather chuffed with my name. In Australia, it was fairly common but special. But here, in Cleveland, it was odd, unique.

But who cares about my name? To everyone (except YOU, Mum) I'm plain old (less of the old, Mister!) Wally. I'd actually better be doing my Maths homework. Teachers do not seem to understand that during the summer holidays you're meant to RELAX. Not work your butt of during pointless sums!**(A/N: There's an excellent chance that most of these suns are wrong. But oh well, who said Wally was a genius?)  
**

**(Here's a copy of it) **

Pg 134, Ques 1-10, Review 1 31st August 06

**1. 86 x 16? Answer:271  
2. 15 x 2 ? Answer: 45  
3. 26 x 13? Answer: 32 (I really cannot be bothered with this crud!)  
4. 76 - 5?Answer: QW  
5. 55 + 10 Answer:3K  
6. If I have 6 oranges and 17 limes, how many pieces of fruit do I have?  
Answer: Who cares, Mr Fribingle?  
7. 2 x 206 Answer: 187  
****8. Jill drove 48km. Jack drove 58km. Who drove the furthest?  
Answer: Who seriously gives a fig how far they went! What type of cars have they got! Don't tell me that they're those 3 wheeled ones!  
****9. 10 x 7 (even I can do this one!) 80!  
10. 534 + 3? Answer: A34  
Review 1: Mary has 36 butterscotchs and she eats 14. How many does she have left?  
Answer: Hopefully enough to share with me!**

Now I think that that deserves an A+ for sure! For once I actually tried on my Summer homework!

I'm going back to the Tree-House. Too bored here. And before you butt in and say 'But you get decommisioned at 13! And you're 14! So you can't be in the Kids Next Door!' Ha I can! well in hte Teens Next Door. There was no way on this planet that Sector V was gonna join Father just because we were 13! Get stuffed!

Right now I'll go. Trust me to promise Kuki that I'd play Rainbow Dorkies with if she left alone to steal some of Numbuh 2's cheese fries! Well, Mr Huggykins, here I come!

_**Wally4  
4evuh and evuh**_

My bedroom (yes again), 9pm, 31st August 06

I don't believe my mum! She's not letting me go to the Tree-House! This is so not fair! all because she wants to take me to her Bingo Night with her stupid friends as her lucky charm! I don't think so! I'm busting out of that joint as soon as I get the chance! Somehow...  
Email! I'll messenger the others!

**Aussie4: **Hey guys!

**Rainbow3: **Hi Wally:D  
**Leaduh1: **Hello Numbuh 4. Y aren't u gonna come 2 the tree-house?  
**Aussie4: **Adults :$ (blushes)  
**Leaduh1: **Oh. That makes sense. Do u want us 2 come and bust u outta there?  
**Aussie4: **It's ok. I'll b grounded 4 life otherwise  
**Busted5: **Numbuh 5 h8s adults!  
**Spitfire2: **Same ere. U OK?  
**Aussie4: **Yea. U lot?  
**Rainbow3:** I'm happy now:D  
**Aussie4**:O  
**Rainbow3: **:$ (blushes)  
**Busted 5:** Numbuh 5's kl ta  
**Leaduh1: **I'm k thanx  
**Spitfire2**: Me 2!  
**Leaduh1**: So wen can u nxt come 2 the tree-house?  
**Aussie4:** I'll try tomoz  
**Leaduh1:** Oh gd. It's 2 quiet ere  
**Rainbow3:** Yea. We mis u  
**Spitfire2: **I've bin beaten 16 times by Numbuh 3 on Rainbow Monkey War!  
**Busted5:** Let's jst say boys r crap at video games!  
**Leaduh1**: Excuse me? We r not!  
**Aussie4:** 22ly! We rock!  
**Busted5:** Wel Numbuh 5's g2g. Comin 2 da tree-house. She's at home at da min. Bubixxxx  
**Leaduh1:** C ya in a min!  
**Spitfire2:** Bye Abbz! C u soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**Aussie4**: C u round  
**Rainbow3:** Bye! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**Busted5 appears to be offline and may not reply**

**Aussie4: **2 many 'x's!  
**Rainbow3:** O  
**Leaduh1: **I betta go and check the mission database & tlk 2 Numbuh 65.3 & cancel my d8 wiv Lizzie tonite  
**Aussie4:** Man, u're busy! Cya l8r, m8!  
**Spitfire2: **Bubi!**  
Rainbow3: **Bye! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**Aussie4:** Like I said before. 2 MANY 'X'S!  
**Leaduh1 appears to be offline and may not reply**

**Spitifire2:** I betta get 2 the tree house 2. C u in a while!  
**Aussie4:** Bye!  
**Rainbow3:** xxxxxxxxx  
**Spitfire2 appears to be offline and may not reply  
Aussie4: **Jst me n u then :D  
**Rainbow3:** Yup!  
**Rainbow3:** I should rlly go 2 the treehouse 2 now. Soz Wally! Come wiv us  
**Aussie4:** I'll try

**Rainbow3: **:D Buhbi! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**Aussie4:** :O :O :O :O. Bye Kooks, XXXX  
**Rainbow3:** :D  
**Rainbow3 appears to be offline and may not reply **

Well that was an interesting conversation weren't it? Say hi, then bye. And they're all going to the Tree-House! Without me! Now that's just no fair! After all, they did admit that it was a LOT quieter without the one and only Wally!

Oh help. Mum's calling for me to get ready. She seriously thinks that I'm gonna come with her and' Mrs I'm an Idiot' and so on? WRONG! But how to get out of it...

Even though the thought of it is disgusting but I know it will work, I'll make myselfr sick. Throw up that pizza for dinner. She can't take me to Bingo if I puke over her can she? Nooooooo

Aha! If I eat these 5 chocolate bars that I hid under my bed from Christmas (that might be out of date by now as well. Which could be used to my advantage) that should make me sick. Then I'll run downstairs and talk to Mum, then PUKE on her! Hehehe I'm a wonderful son, really.

**On the Floor, 9:21pm**

I'm already feeling sick and I've eaten two. 3 left

**Lying on the Floor, 9:25pm**

I tihnk I'm going throw up now. 1 more...

**By the Door, 9:28pm**

I better get down there now! I don't want sick on my bedroom door...

**By the Toilet, 9:39pm**

Yes! It worked! She's not letting me go! I kinda got Joey a bit too but that cannot be helped. He shouldn't be staying up til nearly 10! He's...4 and a half? Stupid time for him to up! I thinkI did brilliantly throwing up. Should get a medal. But at least Mum's not making me go! Or come out of this bathroom either but oh well! No Bingo for me! No Bingo for me! No Bingo for me! One problem. I think I'm gonna be sick again! Those chocolates are doing me no favours

**Head Down the Toliet, 9:43pm**

Eeeeeew! This is horrible! I'm gonna stop writing before I hurl on my journal. Talk more tomorrow!

**_Wally4  
4evuh and evuh!  
pukes_**

**Author: He is a bit of an idiot sometimes. First chappie done! Yay for me! A lot more to come from this little Aussie (and no not just him throwing up to get out of Bingo). Pwease review! Bubixxxx **

P.S. Should I bring Toast into this? Or keep the two stories seperate? Tell me what you think:D

**  
**


	2. THAT is Cereal?

**Ultimate Dictionary and Theasaurus for Households**

**Author: Hi to everyone who reviewed! You're right, there's not much plot but I have written all my best ideas down and believe me this will definetely be the TROUBLES of a Teenage Aussie. Hehe (grins evilly) but do not worry, I don't have anywhere in my ideas about death. Just plain humour. With a few arguments. And 3/4fluff. Lovely. Pweeeese read and review. Bubixxxx!**

**6am, My bedroom, 1st September 06,**

Must make a note to remind self NEVER to eat 5 out of date chocolate bars again! I've been sick all night. But in one view it's cruddy hilarious watching Mum fuss and faff about trying to get me to the bathroon in time. That's when I "trip" over my own feet and ending up puking on the hallway carpet. Just in spite really. What do you expect? I am a boy after all!

**6:03am, In my bed,**

Oh wonderful. Now my little brother Joey's woken up. Just my luck to have him wailing for half an hour until my mother can be bothered to go shut him up. And there's no way on EARTH, that me or my dad who go sort him out. That's Mum's job.

And now he's calling for 'Mummy'. At least it's not' Walll-ly' coz then Mum makes me go to him. And the he's either sick on me or yanks at my hair HARD. There's something wrong with that child, I swear. No wonder it took Mum and Dad so long to find him a school. All the teachers probably ran away and boarded up the school.  
Oh now it's 'Daddy'. Baby. Who wants brothers? I mean, older brothes are alright (well of course, coz I am one) they help out with homework (fat chance) and beat up anyone who gives ya trouble (gladly). But little brothers are useless. Especially ones that still think that they're 2. Not that all babies are exceptionally bad. Aunt Sandra had a baby girl, Kelly. She wasn't too bad...I guess. But she dribbled loads and wet herself everywhere and puked on me everytime she set eyes on me. What is it with babies and puking on me! Anyway, by the time we left for America, she could say' Walwee' which I guess is Kelly-speak for 'Wally'. She must be about 10-11 now. One day I will write to baby cousin Kelly. Might be this century, might be next. I wouldn't mind having kids one day. Understand the **ONE **day. No time soon. Preferably when I am married (Are you kidding me? I'll only get married if that's to a certain girl...I badly need help!) and when I have a house and a job and a car. And have been on holiday to Australia to visit my family there. I'm gonna have a busy life.

**6:07am, By the phone **

Yes! Joey went back to sleep! Hang out the flags! Light the fires! Celebration time!

And Kuki (!) has just phoned. What is SHE doing up at 6 o clock in the cruddy morning? It's a wonder I'M awake. I'm only up coz I've been sick all that and couldn't be bothered to try and sleep again. Anyway, I had to record it all down. Took a LOT of writing, believe me.

**Me (4): **Hello? Wally speaking. If you're selling windows or doors or even cruddy double glazing, BOG OFF! (my favourite line)  
**Kooks (3): **Wally! It's me!  
**4: **Oh hi Kuki!  
**3: **Call me Kooks  
**4: **O...kay. Whassup?  
**3: **Nuffin. It's just there's a dance tonight...  
**4: **Really? So...  
**3: **...so I was wondering if you wanted to go...with me?  
**4: **...(What? I was speechless. The girl of my dreams (Jeez I can't believe I just wrote that!) has just asked me out!)  
**3: **Wally! Is that a no then? (DEFINITELY NOT)  
**4: **No! No, no no. Sure I'll come! (I now believe that an alien who has eaten my head has taken over my body and made me into a love struck teenager. Ewww!) Time?  
**3: **Yay! 7:00pm. I'll meet you there kay?  
**4: **Sure. Where?  
**3: **Oh, yeah, right. The Town Hall, you know.  
**4: **Oh yeah. See ya babes (I really really don't believe I said that.If I had joined a club that was a 'We Hate All Girls' club then I most certainly would be shot for that. Now I am an alien with no head, who s a lovestruck teenager and I'm gonna name myself Fred. Happy days)  
**3: **Aww you're so sweet! (You have no idea how red I went after I remembered what I had just said, Only my mum would 'happen' to come downstairs at that time and say 'Oh Wallabee! What has your friend say to make you turn into a lobster?" Sometimes I really don't like her!) See ya hunni!

Then she hung up. Hunni! 4 years ago (when I was...10 or so?) I'd have probably dropped the phone in disgust. But now I'm so happy it's stupid. I'm so not the same Wallabee Beetles. Still have fun shoving Thomas Alan Griffins **(A/N: Sorry to any Thomas Alan Griffins out there!) **into the lockers. Always knocks his glasses off. He's such a geek with his owly specs and that 'Of Mice and Men' book and 'Macbeth' by Shakespeare that he lugs about with him. Pathetic. Gonna go find some breakfast now.  
See ya later, mate!  
**_The Alien Fred  
Wally4  
4evuh and evuh _**

**Homework: **

English: Read rest of Romeo and Juliet (bucket please! Only interesting bits are the VIOLENT bits!) and evaluate (wonderful) 500 words  
**Science: **Pg 207, all questions. Ask Hoagie  
**History: **Research English History 'Henry VIII' (who?)  
**Geog:** Draw out map of North America  
**Tech: **Copy Abby's diagram  
**Music:** Answer all questions on pg 5. Where's Nigel when you need him?

There. Might be done by Christmas. Which part of 'Summer Holidays' don't those teachers get? Holiday means NO HOMEWORK!

**My bedroom floor, 7:09am, 1st September 06,**

I can't be asked to go downstairs and get my own breakfast. Mum'll call me when it's ready. I'll go then.

4 DAYS TIL SCHOOL STARTS! I hate High School. Yr 10 now. Nooo! And exams! Not that I care. Wallabee Beetles (must start calling self Wally!) doesn't care about anything! Except maybe Kuki that is. Must get these thought out of my head!

**Romeo and Juliet 1st Sep 06  
End Chapter Evaluation  
By Wallabee Beetles  
**

_I think that the last chapter is very sad as they die. But at least they are re-united after wards. (Finished)_

See? I'm so bored I'm even doing homework. Is that good enough? Mrs. Thompson will have to suffer coz I'm not doing any more. I mean to me it does look like 500 words. If you re-count it over 16 times.

"Wallabee! Breakfast!" That's Mum Let's see what crap she's gonna try and feed me today. Good luck, Mrs. Mad. I am so kind about my mother.

"Comin' Mum!"

"Wallabee! It's 'coming!' not comin'! Please learn better English!" Does it seriously matter? Another problen about my mum. SHE FRETS ABOUT CRUDDY GRAMMAR AND PRONUNCIATION! I mean who cares? Spelling, grammar, punctuation, proper English...so what? I feel like shouting to her 'Welcome to 2005, Mum!' when I next see. This is when she needs Thomas Alan Griffins as a son and me as a next door neighbour.

"Whatever!" Today I just cannot be bothered with all her 'proper English'. I'll get a full lecture when I go downstairs.

**Kitchen Table, 7:31am, Same day,**

Oh wonderful. Thank you, mother! Muesli! My favourite! NOT!

And chocolate milk. Whatever...

Really, this 'muesli' lookd like something that's been swept out of a pigeon loft. Though as my mum gave it to me it most probably has came from a pigeon loft.

Yuck! It tastes like something that has been swept from a pigeon loft too! She can't seriously make me EAT this crap! Does she want to poison her oldest son? She saw how sick I was last night. Then again, that was coz I ate all those chocolate bars. Or I could just blame it on her disatrous cooking...

"Wallabee, dear?" Oh Jeez, now what? AND IT'S WALLY FOR CRUD'S SAKE! Not Wallabee! I am not some kind of Australian marsupial! I am an Australian alien with no head! No wait, I am an Australian teenage boy who is being forced to eat pigeon droppings. And is also an alien. After all, when I was 10 (oh how it feels like yesterday...I will not start talking poetry!) I tried at all costs to ditch my feelings for Kuki. Even though I had to cruddy admit them when I had to be that stupid Mr. Huggykins thing. That was awful!

"Wallabee! I'm talking to you!" What does that crazy Sheila want now? Barring a hit over the head? Sorry, Mum, sorry!

"Yeahhhhh," Favourite word of the day.

"I don't want you to go to your friend's house today," WHAT! Is she winding me up? She didn't let me go last night!

"Why in the name of crud not!"

"Don't say that dearie, say 'Why not?'," Whatever Mum " And I want to spend some quality time with you. You know, mother/son time, my littly marsupial!" IS SHE KIDDING ME! Mother and son crap? No way! Why can't she take Joey? Excellent company! If you ever get bored, he'll puke on you and then you have to clean it all up. Yay for you. And anyway, I need to see Hoagie or Nigel some time today to help me prepare for tonight. What do I wear for a date? Oh help! I'm beginning to sound more and more like a girl! I'm doomed.

**Still at kitchen table ( yes with Mum still nagging), 7:45am, 1st Sep 06 **

Mum's going on and on about mother/son activites, like walking up 1 mile high hills with her and her friend's and their sons. Er... I don't think so! Boxing, wrestling, yes. Walking up stupidly high hills, no.

D'ya think that if I just sneak upstairs, shove on my hoodie (I already have on my jeans and trainers) on, and creep out the back door, that she'd notice? Probably not. She is, after all, going through one of her many dictionaries (who keeps 28 dictionaries nowadays?) instead of feeding my brother the Pigeon stuff. Which I think is extremely unfair.

**My Bedroom, 7:50am, 1st Sep 06,**

Yes! Aha! Got past her and the 'Ultimate Dictionary and Thesaurus for Households'. Who in the right mind, a.k.a. not on a different planet like my mother obviously is, would spend $26 on a book? Not including Thomas Alan Griffins here. He probably carries 6 of them in his bag. I don't wanna know

**The Bus Stop Outside The Guy Next Door's House, 8:17am, 1st Sep 06**

I'm bored. And hot. And cannot really be bothered to walk ALL the way to the Tree-House. Even though bus drivers around here are EVIL, man! They make you pay adult fare even if you're barely 4 foot tall! Mum did buy me a bus pass for school and back. As if I'd be seen dead with it. All the nerds have those. And my photo on is horrible. I was about 6 in it. And in a bad mood. So you've got this picture of a 6 year old by, sulking, arm crossed, eyes hidden and refusing to cooperate. Sounds my style.

O great, here comes the bus. Must remind self that:

**Adult Fare: $1.60  
Kid Fare: 70cent ME PAY KID FARE! I'M HARDLY 5 FOOT!**

**Author: Don't ask me how much your buses are in America. That's around about what it is in England so I changed it to dollars. Lots of misfortunes for Wally coming. Pwease review. Bubixxxx**


	3. The Edible Pasta Gun

**Edible Pasta Guns**

**Author: And the Aussie is back! Well at this precise minute in time, the mad British girl is here but I assure you, your favourite Aussie will arrive here soon. I hope - looks for Numbuh 4-.**

**Me: Numbuh...4?  
N4: What!  
Me: You're on. You know your journal fanfic which I'm meant to be writing here.  
N4: My what!  
Me: Your secret journal which no-one is allowed to look in unless their name is Wallabee Beetles and unless they want to suffer an extremely terrible and painful death.**

**N4: You've been going in my journal!  
Me: To put it frankly...yes!  
N4: IS YOUR NAME WALLABEE BEETLES?  
Me: er...no.**

**N4: AND DO YOU WANT TO SUFFER A TERRIBLE AND PAINFUL DEATH**

**Me: Well..er... ya see, I did think ahead and, as I am currently in Cleveland looking for you, I kindly asked Numbuh 2 if he'd fly me back to the U.K once you realised that it was your journal...so I wouldn't mind being murdered by you, I would probably be honoured that you're actually paying attention to me, by anyway I'm so sorry but you cannot kill me today. My apologies**

**N4: You're honoured? Why in the name of crud are you HONOURED! There's nothing special about me!  
Me: Oh I'm sure that there is! (tries to keep doors closed to avoid being trampled by hundereds of girl Numbuh 4 fans outside)  
N4: REALLY:D  
Me: Yes...so can I use your journal now please? (nicks it while he's not looking)  
N4: Sure! If you're honoured that I'm...HEY! (chases Mazzi)**

**Me: Ok...so...here's his journal (shows audience) Now Numbuh 4. What did I tell you to say before I start the fanfic?  
N4: ...  
Me; Oh common! I told you FIVE minutes ago!  
N4: I remember! Mazzi 4 does not own KND or it's characters. She, especially, does not own me.  
Me: Which I find rather upsetting myself. Anyway here's the fanfic!  
**

**Outside Nigel's House, 8:35am**

I bet they're still in bed! And so should I! Why am I even writing in this diary? Any normal boy would have chucked it out the window at first opportunity but oh no not me. I carry on writing in it like it's for school or like my life depends on it!

**8:36am,**

I wonder if Kuki keeps a diary...hmmmmmmmmmm

**Top 5 Things That I Care About**

**By Me (Wally) **

1. Kuki Sanban. Why! She's a GIRL!  
**2. Teens Next Door. **Well obviously!

1. Kuki Sanban. 

**3. Kicking bad guy BUTT! **They deserve every bruise from it!

**4. Candy. **Whoever invented this sweet stuff deserve a medal! It rocks!

**5. My mates. **Dunno what I'd do without them. Be extremely lonely probably.

**_(A/N: A minor interruption from Numbuh 4: HEY! THAT STUFF'S PRIVATE! _**

_**Me: Tough!)**_

There. A list. Shame Mrs. Thompson didn't ask for a list of things that I care about. I'd have done pretty well otherwise.

**In the Main Room, 8:46am**

Where are they? It's deserted! They're not even in their bedrooms for crud's sake! really, i sneak out at the crack of dawn to come here and they're not even here.

They could have left a note.

Oh well. Hoagie's cheese fries (which he tried to hide under the sink but I soon found out. ME: 1  
HOAGIE: 0) look exceedingly nice. Dy'a think he'd notice if I nicked one?

Or two...

Make that three. Oh wonderful! I have cheese sause stuff all over my hoodie. Shame...still tastes good though :D.

**8:47am,**

Hmmm...oh dear. Kinda made my way through the whole packet.

then again, as I would say: HE who is fed the pigeon crap for breakfast, deserves the cheese fries. Full stop.

Oh and another:

He who finds (and eats) the cheese fries...  
**WINS**

He who doesn't...

**DONT**

I'll hide the packet in his room. Make him think he's a sleepwalking cheese fries eater

Under his pillow. Hehe.

**Hoagie's Bedroom, 9:15am**

Oh rats. I can hear the ship returning from wherever. They must have been on a mission. Without me! Must be seriously bored to go and fight the Toiletnator (HAHA) without **the** Wallabee Beetles. However did they manage? Idiots.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" Oh dammit. They've heard me. Crud it!. Shall I answer em? Nah...

"Numbuh 4? Is that you?" How did they twig that it was me? What to do now...GOT IT! I'll sneak up to Level 74 and hack onto the computer up there. It's Numbuh 1's spare incase he's other 15 all break. What a tragedy.

Password? No problem! **SUPREMELEADUH**

Doesn't think much of himself does he?

**Level 74, some odd room, 9:24am,**

They're searching for me now. But as I'm not an intruder (well I guess I am a bit...) or a villian, I don't show up on the trackamabob thing that Numbuh 5 carries.

Yes! Got into Meseenger! BINGO!

**Aussie4: **Hello?  
**Leaduh1: **Numbuh 4? What r u doin on ere?  
**Aussie4:** Chattin, duh!  
**Leaduh1: **Where r u?

**Aussie4: **Level 74, ur comp

**Leaduh1: **WAT! GET OFF IT NOW!  
**Aussie4: **No way!  
**Leaduh1:** Numbuh 4... (angry smilie)  
**Aussie4: **Dats ma name, m8

**Leaduh1:** I'm comin' up  
**Aussie4: **R u? That's nice. How truly corking it will b 2 c ur cross lil face gain

**Leaduh1: **SHUDDUP NUMBUH 4!  
**Aussie4: **Nooooooo :D  
**Leaduh1: **As ur leaduh I command u 2 get off my comp!

**Aussie4: **O...k

**Aussie4 appears to be offline and may not reply  
**

And there's a printout of my short convo with Numbuh 1. Quite funny really. I love stressing him out.

"Wally? Where are you? Come out, please," What is it with Kuki and taking me down to Guilt Lane every time she uses that lost little girl voice. She knows that if she puts the puppy eyes on too that she can work around me, get anything she wants. It's her new trick.

But she'll never find me here. No way! Who'd think of looking in a CUPBOARD to find someone? Even if it is the old weapons cupboard? I must say the pasta in the pasta gun next to me does look rather yummy. Wonder if it's still edible...

**Back in the Main Room, 9:36am,**

She found me. She knows all my old hiding places. Probably because I used to find a different hiding place each time she tried to make me play Rainbow Dorkies. And believe me, I was begged to play every hour on the hour. So as you can guess, I soon ran out of hiding places...AND HAD TO PLAY WITH HER! WHICH, MAY I SAY, IS A MAJOR DISASTER! And I was always Mrs. Cuddlypops no matter how many times I tried to tell her that I was a boy (so therefore not a Mrs) and that I wasn't a cuddly anything either! It only ever resulted in my having one of her 'back crusher' hugs. Trust me on this, when you're being hugged by a girl who's a foot or so taller than you, you know that this is to be avoided at all costs.

"Wally! Why are you squished in a cupboard, you silly!" She giggled, yanking at my hoodie. At least she didn't try to ruffle my hair. that is also to be avoided. Unless you like the 'sleep in haystack' look. Which, weirdly enough, I don't.

"It's...erm...comfy?" Well it used to be comfy.

When I was 9.

"Oh. Ok. Common, Numbuh 1's making toast for breakfast!" Oh good. As long muesli's nowhere on the menu...

"Good," So I let her drag me down here, chattering about the dance. Sometimes I seriously consider asking her where her 'off' button is and shut her up for an hour of two.

No. I don't mean that. I'd hate to be without her. I..love her **_(A/N: and a second interruption from the short Aussie: N4: I never wrote! Never! I wouldn't! That can't be my journal! (goes red) Me: Wanna check? (shows him) N4: Oh. BUT I NEVER WROTE THAT! U MUST HAVE! Me: No I didn't! And you no it...)_**

I can't believe I just wrote that! And she's only sitting opposite me, reading a 'Rainbow Monkey, the Teen Years'.

**The Bathroom (hiding), 3:56pm, 1st Sep 06**

That's it. I'm never going out again! I refuse to face the outdoor world. Again! And I won't be able to go to the dance with Kuki. Actually I will not be able to leave this bathroom for my own sake and the embarrassment of my fellow teammates. But if I ever get my hands on Numbuh 2, he'll have no head! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!

**Author: Uh oh. What has Numbuh 2 done? Only I know.**

**N4: So do I!  
Me: Well duh!**

**N4: Don't you duh me! ANyway way wasn't that when Numubh 2...(Mazzi4 covers N4's mouth with hand)  
Me: Don't you dare tell! Or I'll have your head! Now (finds pointy stick) say what I told you to...oooohhh...half an hour ago?**

**N4: What? That you don't own KND?  
Me: Yes, But the OTHER thing! (gets impatient)  
N4: Oh. Yeah. Please review or Mazzi4 will come after you with her pointy stick  
Me: I never said anything about the pointy stick! (looks guilty)  
P.S. LONDON IS HOSTING THE 2012 OLYMPICS! Soz couldn't help that. Us English people are very happy at the moment lol. (Goes to find Numbuh 2 so he can fly me back to the U.K.) See ya next time!**


	4. Gingernut

**Author: And she updates! A week or so late but she does it! Woohoo! And school's out on...Friday! Celebrate, good times, common! So more updates will come after Friday, I promise -crosses fingers- only joking. Let the fanfic begin...Oh and please read and review! Bubixxxxxxxxx **

The Bathroom (still hiding), 3:59pm

Numbuh 2 is officially not my friend anymore. He is not even a _he_ in my book. _He _is an **IT. **But anyway, it is nothing to me any more. Especially not after he offered to help me prepare for tonight. Granted, I did, stupidly, agree but as I'm in a mood I'll blame it all on him.

"Common Numbuh 4! It's all the fashion now! You'll be cool dude! Trust me!" He said, going through one of his cupboards. Trust him! I'll never TRUST him again! Even if my life depended on it!  
Have a wild random guess what he did to me.

**HE DYED MY HAIR RED**

And I'm soo gonna kill him! When I ever come out of this toilet but that won't happen until my blondeness grows back and I CAN CUT ALL THIS CRUDDY RED OFF! Red hair (yuck) and green eyes don't go well on me. Numbuh 2 said it suited me. _I _said that his goggles obviously weren't focused and happily pinged them in his face. He has a lovely red (haha!) mark now. But I have red hair so that makes two of us.  
Come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if he painted gold nail varnish on me during the night, just for a laugh.

Oh no! no sleep tonight :(

Oooo what am I gonna to do? She's POSITIVE to notice. It's impossible not to. My hair now stands out from a very far distance. I bet my aunts in Australia can see it!

**Sitting on side of bath, 4:02pm,**

Maybe a good old hat would cover it? My old orange New York one's in my room...somewhere that is.

**By the door, 4:10pm,**

Right. How to get from the bathroom on Level 16 to my bedroom on Level 34? Well knowing my luck, Kuki'll walk down the same hallway that I'm on and see my wonderful stylish hair.

How I enjoy life :D

**By the teeny bathroom window, 4:17pm**

Maybe I should climb up? With my hood up? Though the bathroom window is a _little_ but on the small side. A good punch on the wall next to it should make it bigger.

It worked!

**On a random branch, 4:21pm**

Okay. it's a bit difficult to write but here but tough. As it is very windy and rather hot. Stupid weather.

**MY ROOM! 4:35pm,**

Yes! Aha! I'm here! Back in my wrestling bed! The cap idea failed. It clashes with the hair! Aaaaa! I looked like had HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE hair! Bad idea, bad idea! I better find my tux. Time is running out. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Am I going? Or shall I not? I could say I'm ill...but that would be letting her down. Then some other boy might go with her! Noooooo! I have to. HAVE TOOO!

But...My hair is a slight problem. Only a little bit...

Result! Found my suit! Bit dusty but a good thump would get rid of that.

Okay, nearly choked on the amount of dust from that thing. It's filled the room for the love of crud!

**In front of mirror (which is _slighty _cracked. What? The mirror shouldn't have got in my way when I was in a bad mood!), 5:00pm,**

Well, let's put it this way. I'm fully dressed and ready for tonight. My hair is brushed and my teeth are cleaned (!) and my shoes have been polished and I even nicked Mrs. Uno's iron to iron out my suit. One problem. I'M 2 HOURS EARLY! And! And to add to that, I've even put on deodrant that Mum bought AGES ago for me

And so, this is as good as it's gonna get. Shame I can't do anything (incase I crease my tux) or eat anything (then I'd have to re-brush my teeth and that would be a tragedy) or run around like a loony (I might muck up my hair and I'm so not brushing it again!).

BUT I'M SO HUNGRY! I'M GONNA DIE OF STARVATION! Okay, I'm putting it on a little bit there but I am really hungry!

How high's the risk of being spotted if I creep out to the kitchen? 20? 30? 99?  
I know exactly what they'll see if they see me:  
5: Never knew YOU wanted to be a Gingernut, Carrot Top!  
2: I know you can blush badly mate, but MAN that's over the top ;)  
1: Er...Numbuh 4. Isn't there something you need to tell me? -stern look-  
3: Yay! LikeAuburn Autumn Rainbow Monkey!  
I know my friends too well.

**Next to my exercise bike, 5:14pm,**

I can't take this anymore. I'm dying, dude! I'm too hungry to live! Need a microwave pepperoni pizza or packet of cheese fries with molten mozzarella...THA'T'S IT! NEED FOOD!

**In the cupboard, 5:43pm,**

My life is over.

If Abby tells Kuki then I might as well bury myself in a cardboard box in a hole in the floor. So now, not only does Hoagie know of my redheadness (well duh it's HIS FAULT) but Abby as well! Wonderful!  
But maybe I should count my luck...all 4 of them could have been in there! Not just Numbuh 5. And as I said, she _immediately _noticed and laughed so loudly it's a wonder Nigel's relatives in England didn't acknowledge her existence.

"Oh. My. Days, Numbuh 4!" She giggled. Though she can't mock. Her hat covers most of her head so she looks redheaded too. Only the long black plait down her back gives it away.

"What? What's different!" I stupidly said even though I knew full well what she meant. It was pretty obvious.

"I would ask you what you've done to your hair but I've just remembered who you are so maybe now I just won't bother," She chuckled. Question: What was **THAT** meant to mean?

"Hey! I'm just going...different for a while," A while? I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEN DEAD LIKE THIS, let alone stay like it for a while!

"Different man? Why red? It's so not your colour dude! You seriously think Numbuh 3's not gonna notice?" How did Kuki ever get into that conversation?

"Numbuh 3?"

"Yeah! It's the dance tonight right? I'm still picking between Nigel and Hoagie even though _Lizzie_ has asked Numbuh 1 to go with her but he did say..." and she just carried on rambling on and on about Numbuhs 1 and 2 and Lizzie. Who cares!

**Still in the cupboard (which is very uncomfortable), 6:27pm,**

Half an hour until the dance. And nothing much has happened. Well barring that I nearly was found by Kuki! She came skipping into my room, about 15 minutes ago, singing to herself.

"Waaaally! You in here! Woo hoo? WALLY! Numbuh 4!" She called, dancing round my room, before leaving to look for me somewhere else. All I can say to her is 'Good Luck!'.

GOT IT! Maybe...if I wish very very hard then my hair might turn blonde again! What? It works in fairy stories! Nothing is impossible! Though whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door... BUT! But if it does turn blonde again then I can make Abby look stupid for thinking it was red. This idea gets better and better.

**6:35pm,**

It's not working...

**6:37pm,**

Still a redhead. Maybe...if now it's dyed red, it's not gonna change back in a while...I dunno

Numbuh 1 always said that 'I wasn't the sharpest nail in the jar'. I'm not sure if that means that my own nails are too short or I'm just plain stupid. It's got to be the nail theory.

**6:42pm,**

I should really be going. But I don't dare **leave this cupboard until extremely nessesary**! I know that my suit will creased but that is one of those many things that cannot be helped. Though it took me so long to iron it all out...

**6:53pm,**

Okay. I should definitely be going now. The last thing I need is Kooks thinking I've stood her up. Wish me luck. I'll cruddy well need it!

**In a sink, 7:22pm,**

Unbelievable! I'm so shocked I can hardly write this and breathe at the same time. Though the fact that I'm sitting in the boys bogs doesn't help either

_**SHE LIKES IT**_

I just had to get it off my chest that Kuki actually LIKES my new hair colour. I was so taken aback that I tripped over my own feet. She says that my strawberry blondeness goes well with my green eyes (!). If she'd have been Numbuh 2, I'd have told her she was talking out of her butt. But as she was Kuki I decided against it. As she really likes it, I might just accidentally do it again..only accidental of course... ;)

So far the dance has gone pretty well. I'm amazed to say the lest, considering the rest of my day has gone pretty crap.

Kuki's gone to get drinks so I nipped in here quick. Hope she gets crisps as well, Though I'll probably drop crumbs down my front and end up looking like a 2 year-old.

Lizzie and Nigel are here! Though Nigel hasn't yet noticed my hair. Is he blind? So is Hoagie and Abby though we haven't actually talked yet. I gave Hoagie a black look while dancing with Kooks over her shoulder. He just winked at me!

**Back in the sink, 8:15pm,**

Just did a slow dance with Kuki. Since when did she learn to dance so professionally and beautifully? I felt such an idiot as I know hardly anything about dancing. Don't ask about how I did it at the Delightful Dork's masion party thing 4 years back. Though I don't think the practising with Kuki hours in advance did anything at all ;). But now I cannot remember ANY of it. Luckily Kuki didn't seem to notice and just leaned her head on my shoulder. Good thing that I've grown a few inches:D

**Leaning against the sinks, 9:31pm,**

Kooks has just gone to the girl's toilets so I'm back in this smelly bogs. They should seriously get some air freshener for this place. So as girls take FOREVER in the bathroom, I'll write you a list of all the things I hate.

**Top 10 Things That I, Wally Beetles, Hates (In any order)**

**1. Rainbow Dorkies: **I swear that these things are EVIL! They're always smiling for crud's sake! That's just freaky! And names like 'Happy Barbecue Rainbow Monkey'. how stupid is that! Why not just call them all Fred 1 and Fred 2 and leave it at that?  
**2. All Things Girly: **Should be wiped off the face off the face of the Earth. Who, in their right mind and not a brain washed one, wants long, pointy, sharp, pink nails? They're only useful for one thing: scratching people! And all things fluffy? Don't even go there!  
**3. All Villians: **They annoy me with their pathetic attmepts to 'rule this world'. Especially the Toiletnator. I just wanna yell at him 'GIVE UP MATE!'. Do they really think that they'll beat the TND? Now that's an impossible mission!  
**4. Sprouts (and all vegetables): **They. Taste. Sick. And make you all geeky and goody-goody like the cruddy Delightful Dolts! Which in my opinion is a crime and should therefore be banned!

**5. Dentists and Doctors: **Why do they care so much? Answer: _They don't care_. They want you to endure PAIN. That's our theory anyway. All they do is patch you up with a swollen gum or crutches so you can't eat or do anything! And they tell you how bad cheese fries are for you. And you're like 'your point is...'.

**6. Dogs: **Okay, so maybe little puppies aren't so bad but the big ones that attack are the ones I hate! Especially guard ones that bark a lot! And eat homework that took you all night to make up!  
**7. Girls:** All girls EXCEPT Kuki Sanban. They're all 'ohh, ahh! A Rainbow Monkey with wings! Must have it!' WHY? What's wrong with a good wrestling game instead? Much more entertaining! I mean like who, in their normal non-insane (well that knocks Kuki off the list) mind, wants a stuffed monkey thing with a rainbow stuck over its head and all it says is 'hi friends! Fluffy Fairy Rainbow Monkey here!' over and over? When Kuki got that one, I nearly chucked it out the window.

**8. Flies: **Especially when they buzz round and round your head when you're trying to eat. And when you try to whack them with a rolled-up magazine (usually Numbuh 5's) you uusally miss for at least 5 minutes. It's hard to believe that Numbuh 2 like them! I'd wash em off this face of the planet if possible. Along with HIM.

**9. Delightful Children: **Alright. So what if they come under 'All Villians'. I hate them more than the average bad guy! Goody-goody freaks is all they are! How sad is that, to talk in unison? Saddos! **(A/N: My dearest apologies to all Delightful Children fans!) **And their sarcastic tone of vocie and bright blue eyes. Freaks.

**10. Anyone Who Calls Me Squirt: **Let's make one thing clear...I'M NOT A SQUIRT. Shorter than the average teenage boy, msybe, but NOT a squirt! Anyone who calls me it is asking to be hit by a freshly made S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. Excellent for whacking people who insult me! And leaves lovely bright red marks. Ask Hoagie. He's had enough experience.

Uh oh, Gotta go. Kooks is calling me:D

**Back in wrestling ring, 11:56pm,**

What a night!  
I've never danced so much in the whole of my cruddy life! I swear that I've worn both my feet away! Oh great. That makes me even MORE shorter. Wonderful.

I'm too tired for this. Going to bed. Night.  
**  
Wally4**


End file.
